The 6 Roots of Addiction in Our Modern World

Why do people take drugs even though it’s bad for them? As a kid, I always wondered.

It’s the drugs, stupid. They are the reason people are addicted. They’re evil. Most people would answer.

This conviction is the main reason why there is still a heavy war on drugs in many countries.

The root cause, however, doesn’t lie within the drugs. It can be found in painful past experiences. Experiences that usually date back to early infancy when we were most fragile and 100% dependent on our caretakers. Many times, they have to do with physical or mental abuse. But there are other, more subtle triggers, too.

Not all addictions are based on abuse and trauma, but I am convinced that all can be traced back to painful experiences says Gabor Maté, a Canadian doctor that has been researching addiction for the past few decades.

According to him any addiction, may it be gambling, drugs, sex, consumption, internet and media or the addiction to work, is based on pain. Even when the wound is invisible. Everyone that has a wound will try to escape the pain. Often, addiction leads to this path to escape.

This is confirmed by the German psychotherapist Ralf Schneider, who condensates his years of experience of treating addiction patients in his book Die Suchtfibel (The Addiction Fibula). He also explains that certain types of upbringing practices can damage children, which can later on cause them to experience hard-to-identify pains. The door to addiction opens.

These experts explain that the following 6 childhood deficits can cause mental wounds that promote addiction.

1. Not Satisfying Basic Needs

Love and a sense of protection are for children just as important as water and food. Unfortunately up to this day this is still often disregarded. If these needs are neglected children experience distress: They know that their survival is depended on their caretakers. And they don’t yet have the capacity of rational thinking. They cannot reason why they are being neglected. So, they use the only tool they have. Their voice: They cry.

For many years it was a common belief that letting children cry without attending to them was a way for them to learn how to be alone. So, people did it on purpose. The fact is, it’s rather the opposite that’s true. Parents can do their children serious harm when they leave them alone. This is why:

It is obvious that early stress experiences cause changes in brain structure — Ralf Schneider

When children are left alone crying, their body reacts with stress. The hormone cortisol is released. According to studies, this can harm the normal development of the central nervous system and the brain. If this happens repeatedly, deep mental pain, insecurity, and trauma is created.

These childhood wounds can later cause relationship problems, sleep irregularities, anxieties, depression, and, especially, addiction.

2. Basing Love on Conditions

There are only very few children in the world that are lucky enough to be loved unconditionally — Gerald Hüther

According to German brain scientist Gerald Hüther, the fundamental requirement for a happy childhood is that children feel that they are loved just the way they are. Free of any conditions. This seems to be rather rare.

Instead, many children learn, that they have to make an effort to earn their parents’ affection. May it be through better grades in school, or better behavior at home, etc.

This is because many people still try to educate their children by showing them affection only when kids do what their parents want them to. This way they are conditioned to function to other people’s expectations. To seek external validation. This is not how nature had intended it to be. It causes a constant struggle to be better. As being as one is, is never going to be enough. Another psychological wound. This pain can even be measured. Scientific studies have shown that this pain is the same that the brain signalizes when physical harm is inflicted.

Everybody tries to cope with this pain in a different manner. Some will strain themselves to achieve outstanding results at work or sports or wherever to get peoples’ affection. Others may search for numbing substances. In any case, addiction offers a sweet way to cover up the pain.

3. Over-Protective Parents

A large portion of addicts seem to be those, that lack courage. People that give themselves liquid courage. People that consume substances to make them feel more confident in the face of risk. The natural readiness to take risks is usually formed in early childhood.

Children must be allowed to fall

Children must be able to play freely without their parents helicoptering over them. They must make their own experiences. Face and overcome challenges by themselves. They must encounter their limits.

A child cannot learn how to get up, if it never falls — Gerald Hüther

Even if it’s hard for parents. But protecting a child from every little danger can damage the development of a child’s natural confidence. It may develop insecurities. And, it may hinder them from taking responsibility for themselves, as responsibility has always been carried by mom or dad.

Again, for grown-ups, addiction seems to offer a sweet escape from these learned insecurities.

4. A Lack of Playfulness

Eckhard Schiffer, an addiction researcher and author of German bestseller Warum Huckleberry Finn Nicht Süchtig Wurde (Why Huckleberry Finn Didn’t Become Addicted) argues, that creative phantasy is an effective protection from addiction.

As he was working with addicts he found out, that boredom and lack of creativity are indicators for addictions later in life. According to him, bored patients use addiction to escape their inner emptiness.

So how where does this lack of phantasy stem from? Partly it comes from a lack of free play in childhood. A child that is allowed to play freely will use creativity and problem-solving to entertain itself. It will learn to do so without any toys. It will find new possibilities and will not get bored. The child’s creative mind is trained, and it will always be able to benefit from that. Later that person will be less likely to get bored in which helps in the prevention of addictions.

A lack of children’s free play is a problem that’s increasingly more common. This is mainly due to 2 reasons:

Besides longer times spent in school, parents increasingly want their children to participate and succeed in extracurricular activities such as sport, music, or language lessons. While in general, this isn’t a bad thing it can become critical when it takes away too much free time to play.

People tend to intervene in their children’s plays. According to Schiffer, this is because parents want to get results even from playing. Therefore, the games lose their spontaneity and creativity.

5. The Achievement Principle of Today’s Society

Today’s children have to perform: School from 8 am. Constant concentration until the afternoon while maintaining good, adapted behavior and participating with a good attitude in all classes. After that, homework. This has to be done well, too. After that, sports, music, or whatever the parents want their kids to learn. And of course, they are also expected to be good at that.

Some kids work as hard as adults. They are taught: Only the ones that work hard can be successful. And only the successful ones get to be happy. Of course, the common definition of success is titles, recognition, and financial return.

Therefore, they are told that they need to get good grades. When they achieve an average result they’ll hear something like:

Great. But with a bit more effort you could have had an A.

The message they really get sounds more like:

We would love you more if you had an A.

According to Schneider, 36% of parents in Germany would give their children drugs to enhance their concentration. No wonder, that among the high achievers the percentage of students that consume pharmaceuticals is highest.

Here, a continuous lack of internal peace is fostered, because the performance of one’s own children is directly measured against the performance of the others. The scene is dominated by competition and market value. What’s my value? How do I win against my competitors? — Eckhard Schiffer

6. The Parent’s Fear of Failure Projected on Their Kids

It starts, of course, with the parents. It’s not easy to raise a child. Especially in today’s world. Many feel pressured and are afraid of failure. What if my kid isn’t good enough?

Many parents try to protect their kids and set them up for a, in their definition, successful life. Most think they do it because of love. Really, there is anxiety behind it, according to Schiffer. Paternal guidance is quickly perceived as suffocation when they lose sight of their children’s true needs because of their own anxieties.

The cure of today’s society against this fear is called performance.

As long as you work hard, you’ll be fine.

This mindset, transferred from parents onto their children, restricts the offspring’s’ autonomy and authenticity. Children, that don’t explore the world for themselves and assert their own way lose their sense of self. This opens the door for addictions. Addictions that let them truly experience something. Addictions that feint free will.

 

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